My Leave

The leave,
The surrender to the need
to leave.
But at the same time
return
to embrace what has left me.
And, to find what I forgot
I had.


I feel uninspired with what to write. Not uninspired...maybe more...vapid, insipid. My mind isn't racing with the need to purge anything.

My mind is more thoughtful and content to graciously ponder the mysteries of life. My leave from work has definitely given me the time and space to just BE. Just be. With little obligation and distraction. I have taken the time to get to know the innate wisdom that I have ignored for far to long. And that, I have found just by listening. Quietly. And actually hearing what is being said. Hearing with my entire being, not just my ego, which always places judgment and compares. No. I want to listen with all six of my senses. I want to listen to the girl in me who still loves faeries and mermaids. To my old soul which knows things I cannot fathom, yet I feel as deeply seeded peace. To the intelligent woman in me who tries to figure it all out, who has the courage to encounter that which pains her. To my higher power who carries the wisdom to understand the need to surrender to the mysteries of life. To my esoteric self who can embrace the paradox of encountering at the same time as surrendering. I want to be s-i-l-e-n-t so i can l-i-s-t-e-n to all of it. (See the anagram?)

I am practicing listening with my heart. In the words of Carl Jung "Your vision will be clear when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."

And another quote - a tribute to the season that is taking forever to awaken:
"The buds swell imperceptibly without hurry or confusion, as if the short spring day were an eternity." ~Henry David Thoreau

Oh, p.s. Can I tell you a secret? The part of me that is listening to my affinity towards the magical, has started to act a little strange. The world of faeries, devas, and sprites has allured me long enough, and lately I have found myself responding. I have started to hug trees. I mean, really hugging them. Full body, eyes closed, tightly squeezing, extra long hugs. It's to the point where I don't even check for potential witnesses - I just hug. The best trees are the ones you can reach your arms right around. Seriously. Try it. Then comment on my blog and let me know if you liked it. Let me know if you felt the tree sprites.